Early Morning Ramblings

So it has been a while to those of you who read and follow this blog, but life has been a little busy.

Day to day hassels and life and work in general have taken precedence over this blog, so here is a little catch up.

Since Mother's Day, we have celebrated Kevin's birthday (actually the night before) with a trip to Bass Pro Shops (Kevin's FAVORITE place in the world) and dinner at Logan's. Other than getting lost and turned around and "misplaced" on the interstate, it was a fairly fun trip. Then on his birthday he got called in to work, but did get to fish that afternoon. Guntersville Lake gave him the best present ever, a large 7-8 lb bass. He couldn't have been happier, and we got to grill out with at his parents house with his sister and nephew. He said that he couldn't have had a better day, even though he did get called into work.

Craig, my step-brother, is home from Afganistan (sp??). He has been out of touch with the family for approximately 2 1/2 years, so this is a change for us. He is currently staying with my Momma and Step-Daddy. We are happy to have him back in Alabama safe and sound and on US soil as well as just being here. He has missed a lot in the last couple of years, and has had his ups and down but I hope that he finds what he needs and wants.

In our small town, we have had a tragedy. A 22 year old female was killed in an aweful car accident. Freak accident really, one that we will never know what happened or why. I drive by the scene of the accident on my way to and from work. It is sad and it leaves a sick feeling in my gut when I see the memorial that her friends and family have placed there on the side of the road. It is a reminder that we are not promised tomorrow and that you never know what the day will hold.We are not promised tomorrow and I want my family and friends to know what they mean to me and that I love them dearly. I hope I show them enough.  She was a young girl, going to college and planning a wedding, who had a family and a sister, and tons of friends, but I find myself wondering as I also re-evaluate myself and actions, if she knew where she was going when she passed.

I think that has been what has been on my heart the heaviest. I think that it has taken this tragedy and a few other instances that I won't mention to make me stand up and say "you need to look in the mirror first and start there." I am not the best Christian that God has to offer in his army. I know I don't live the way that I should and I am probably one that should be ashamed of my actions, rather than worry about others first. I am a Christian and I was saved when I was 11 years old. I have friends who are more worthy of praise for being outspoken about their walk with God and what He does for them in their lives. As I read other people's blogs I am inspired to be a better Christian, church member, wife, sister, nurse, friend, ect. I pray that I am forgiven for my previous actions and that thru this forgivness I find strength for what I am after. And then again, it is not all about what I want it is about what will be God's will. I look at the things in my life that I want to change or become better or make different, but I don't take those wishes or wants or needs to the One who will make it happen like I should. Am I a coward? I have never thought so before, but maybe I am. I want to do the right thing but am I willing to stand up on the right side and be apart of that. Weather it be someone who talks offensive or something bigger. I have a tendancy to be a people pleaser instead of a God pleaser I guess. So, I am asking for those of you that read this to say a little prayer for me that I will be able to change and be the person that God wants me to be and not the person that goes with the flow and what everyone else wants her to be. The first step in changing is that admittance that 1. you need to and 2. asking for help.

So, I am pleased to say that I am a Christian, a sinner saved by Grace, and that I am not perfect, and I would like to be better at doing what God would have me do. I am blessed beyond meassure and am surely undeserving of what I have been given. I know how I should live and act, so that is where I am starting. ME. I have got to be the one to put in the effort. So many times befor I have asked for forgiveness, and yes it is always there, but I have not put the effort in myself to make the change. It has just been "I wanna be better, do better, so God change me." This time it is ME.

"He never promised a victory without fighting, but He said help would always come in time"
So, I am beginning my battle for the victory that I strive for and He will be there when I need Him.